Nick's Gaming Blog

News ’bout ‘dem Videyuh Gahms Week of October 22th, 2012

Feel free to make up your own theme song, I sure as hell don’t feel like doing it.

What?  You feel like you’re already being tasked with doing all of the heavy lifting when you just came here to read an article and/or actually just look at the pictures?

Fine.  You’ve still got to come up with the words.  But you better put it to the tune of “Ridin’ Dirty.”  Chamillionaire wouldn’t have it any other way.

That settled?  Then let’s dive into the news like a Chinese Olympic diver: effortlessly smooth and with the assistance of performance-enhancing substances.

1.  Deadly Premonition weaves its oh-so-divisive way onto the PS3. 

“I’ve found evidence!” (If you don’t get the reference, it’s a Batman joke, don’t worry about it.)

Look, I’ve got mixed feelings on this one, but I’m unable to come to decisive conclusions on most matters…so I guess it doesn’t bother me that much.  On one hand, I’m quite happy that PS3 owners can finally experience the oddball “piece de resistance” 360 owners were handed back in early 2010.  Is it for everybody?  No, certainly not.  But if you’re a fan of Twin Peaks, driving segments that feel like you’re behind the wheel of an over-sized brick (both from a gameplay and an aesthetic standpoint), and vending machines that charge just short of a “Benjamin” for a packet of Saltines, then this is your kind of game.  “Unforgivably bizarre” is probably the best way of putting it.

While it’s great that the PS3 will land this game in Q1 2013, I think 360 fans wouldn’t mind the HD up-rez, extra story content, and streamlined controls that the PS3′s “Director’s Cut” will contain.  Heck, I’ll pay double what I paid for Deadly Premonition the first time around…which was only $20 dollars.  Regardless, I’m happy that more fans of campy oddities will get to play Deadly, even if it is about two years later than initially projected.

2. Breaking Bad star Paul to star in a Need For Speed film, all involved likely unaware of Fast and Furious franchise

In this week’s “WHY…I JUST DON’T…UGHH” segment, a good actor teams up with a terrible director to unnecessarily adapt the works of an arcade racing franchise.  Unless, you know, you think Military Recruitment Tool Manufacturer/Propaganda Proliferator/(and, to a very select few) “Film Director” Scott Waugh (of Act of Valor fame/infamy) can properly utilize the acting chops Emmy-winner Paul possesses.  Newsflash: he can’t.  If you disagree, I’ve got Waugh’s one movie and his stuntman pedigree that suggest he’s gravitated into the wrong line of work.  Shouldn’t the guy be choreographing fights or something?

But yeah, a Need for Speed film that is “said to be inspired by the entire game series, as opposed to one single title,” according to IGN.

Look, either make the movie on NFS’s failed “Porsche-only” experiment or NOTHING. Them’s the rules, kid.  Gamespot’s apparently one of the only places on the Net that knows how great this game was.  Except, you know, it really wasn’t.

Well, fuck.  There go my dreams of a Need For Speed: Porsche Unleashed film.  Fuck indeed.

Unless Paul is hoping to make the transition from a critic’s darling in television to a borderline joke in film (because “HEY, IT’S FILM”…and this has been the unfortunate justification for actors taking this problematic career direction in the past) he needs to drop out.  Need For Speed does not need a movie, Waugh does not need further employment, and Paul does not need to be dragged down by a knock-off film, arriving several years after the genre’s “use by” date.  But, still, if this is “your thing,” then mark your calendar for February 2014, while I simultaneously pray the world will end in December 2012, if only as a reaction to this film.

3.  Bioware Announces That Shepard, or Anybody Resembling His Chiseled Likeness Will Return for ME4

That’s right kiddies, Mass Effect is following in the sci-fi opera footsteps of Halo, in that your beloved protagonist is being swapped out.  The studio doesn’t exactly reveal a whole lot else about the future of their cash cow that doesn’t involve dragons, other than the fact that the plan isn’t to swap out Shepard for someone similar, leaving the gameplay and remaining elements of ME intact.  That could be good, right?

Then again, these are the sorts of statements that preceded Dragon Age II.

Not much else to note, but I will leave a little tidbit of advice for Bioware here, as I know they read this blog regularly with great interest: don’t lose Jennifer Hale.

And a Firefly RPG would be nice.  That is all.

4.  A Boy and his Blob Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why’d You Steal Our Garbage?! has released some screens of the Blob’sJake’s many transformations

There’s not a whole lot else to say, other than this game might “force my hand” on entering handheld gaming (and the gradual social faux pas and conversationally-retarded mindset that accompanies such).  It looks to make good use of the DS’s dual screen format for inventory management, and Nintendo’s handheld seems more than capable of meticulously recreating Pen Ward’s universe.  Will say this though, if BMO’s not in it, then forget it.  I love BMO.

‘MO than you’ll ever know.

5. CD Projekt’s Cyberpunk: New Title, New Website, Little of Substance To Go On

Remember a while back when the creators of the “boobs and scars” overdose that was The Witcher 1 &2 announced a new title?  You don’t?  Well fuck.  Anyway, it was called Cyberpunk, and is based on Mike Pondsmith’s “pen and paper” game Cyberpunk 2020. Does that mean anything to you?  Good, it doesn’t ring any bells for me either.

So, uhh…who DOESN’T want to play a game based on this?

Those who want to know more about the source material?  I’ve kindly included the link to the Wikipedia page here.

Anyway, CD Projekt has changed the title to Cyberpunk 2077, setting it roughly fifty years after the events of Pondsmith’s game.  Sure, it doesn’t sound like a massive change, but it sends the right message: we’re going to exist in the same universe, but if you’re expecting this to be the same thing blow-for-blow, you’ve got the wrong idea.

Not a whole lot else has been said about the game, especially the two biggest questions: target platform and targeted release date.  They’ve mentioned that it’s going to have “sandbox” elements, but when one considers how much that word is thrown around these days, it pretty much means nothing.

As much as I’d appreciate some tasty morsels of information, CD Projekt, you did created, and I am enjoying The Witcher 2, so you’re off the hook…for now.

 6.  Walking Dead Retail Edition Details Revealed

Some of you have an abundance of cash and hard drive space, accompanied by a lack of patience, and a love for all things undead.  These people are the ones that are buying The Walking Dead episodes whenever they come out.  These people are also free to skip over this little blurb.

The rest of us (the “small hard drive/barren wallet” people) are waiting for Telltale Games’ digitally-distributed masterpiece to consolidate the five episodes onto a disc, at a price that effectively gives us two of the eps for free.  While many of us have known that we’ll have to wait until December 4 to lay our decaying mitts on the title, it’s only now that we’ve discovered that it’ll be a Gamestop Exclusive.

And, of course, we all know what that means: if that game isn’t a Call of Duty or Halo, you’d best pre-order.  I’m more than aware that doing such qualifies as a venal sin at the very least, but all of this adds up this very simple fact: If you’re not a best-selling title, Gamestop’s only going to stock one, possibly two copies beyond the amount of pre-orders.

Here’s the obligatory “collector’s edition pic” for those interested. For those not interested, don’t look at the picture. TOO LATE YOU PROBABLY LOOKED.

Oh, and if you have an insatiable desire to surrender more of your (probably) hard-earned sawbucks over to our retail gaming overlords…well, they’re offering up another opportunity for such: pony up an additional $40 you’ll also get The Walking Dead Compendium 1, which includes the first forty-eight issues.  Yes, it does come with exclusive cover art and yes…all of this is packaged in a box with equally “exclusive” art.

But, chances are you already own the book, or are reading the series in either “trade” or “issue” format.  Sadly, those looking for a deal on the book by purchasing this combination will be disappointed.  That’s right, meticulous research has brought to my attention that Amazon’s selling new copies for $36 without shipping.  I will say this though, if you want that edition, then you’d really best pre-order, as the supply is reportedly “extremely limited” and I can guarantee stores won’t be ordering extra copies of that version.

7. For Those Xboxers About To Tweet…Well, You Can’t

None of you used your Xbox for Twitter or Facebook.  This is an undeniable fact.  Maybe once, just once you tweeted or umm…”Facebooked” from your 360, just to prove it could be done.

And that was that.  Oh, did I mention that you also had to have Gold to access this marvelous feature?  One that would not let you Tweet mid-game, but forced you to shut down all other activities before opening up the App?

Well, you can’t do either of these anymore.  Unless you want to use the new Internet Explorer browser included in the latest update, effectively putting another step between you and something that really shouldn’t require such a concerted effort.  When it takes two minutes to jot down less than 140 characters about your lunch…you suddenly don’t want to do it anymore.

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